11 July, 2006

I am outraged. Outraged. So very close to tears. I am frustrated and angry and mad enough to sit down and bawl. How dare they? How dare anyone take away human life? How dare they take away my right to feel secure in a city? How dare they use innocent lives to get whatever it is they want to achieve?

I am so mad I want to cry. I was on a train till Elphinstone Road (two stations away from the first blasts) till 6:15 coming back from South Mumbai. 15 minutes later the train was bombed. But I don't feel relief about not being on the train. I feel deep regret that I am here at work not able to do anything about anything. This not knowing, this constant conjecture at who is responsible for this is worse. How dare human beings use other human lives to get their message across, whatever the fucking message is??

This act goes beyond terrorism. This act goes beyond the intent to terrorize and threaten. It's so clear that someone wanted human beings dead. Someone wanted to make an example by taking lives they had no right to take. Bombing a grossly overcrowded train during peak hours is clearly beyond psychological warfare.

I don't understand so much. But I know none of us deserve this - this sense of insecurity, this constant worrying if friends and family are safe, that safety is a luxury.

I don't understand who did this or why. Television says one thing, the Internet another. I don't understand any of it. All I know is I am reacting to this with great anger. Every once in a while, I lend a thought to why only the Western Suburbs, why only largely Muslim areas first, why only places after Dadar (Central Mumbai) and nothing south?? I can't understand any of it.

While television is coming under fire (as it always does) for terrible coverage/reporting/opinions or insensitivity, I think it is important to be constantly informed. And as of now all television channels are doing as good as a job they can.

But for now, I need to find a way to do something about this; find a way to understand this; find a way to feel safer in this city.


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